"Who are these guys?"

Great question. Very few kids, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, say that they want to own a wine bar. And that, of course, begs the question of whether we've actually grown up.

Someone said that life was like a box of chocolates. We're the ones that have that goofy jelly filling.

Rob Wecker - Resident Wine Geek
Steve Wecker - Ideas Guy!
Nate Hynson - Bar Guy
Vince Culotta - Raised by Wolves
Norton - Maximum Hound
Jackie Beal, Rian Wecker, and Katie Dewberry - Wee People
Marcie Prince - Born and Raised in the Heartland of America
Jeanine Plezkoch - More Cowbell!
Chris Lewis - He's Not Too Short Anymore!
Lee Marzalie - Secretary of Pepperoni
Bob Grouge - Heir To The Throne of England
Dan Frack - Born to Lithuanian Polka Dancers
Woody Issac - Woodsman

Rob Wecker
The Wine Guy
Our "Resident Wine Geek," Rob can recite the entire movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail from memory. A Baltimore International Culinary College graduate, he has played in the field of food and wines for years. Rob claims to play eight different musical instruments, and believes with the potential of future cloning, he could someday be his own orchestra.

He relies on his trusty sidekick and maximum hound Zoey for spiritual guidance. He collects Dr. Suess memorabilia. He is a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. He writes award-winning operas. He can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and he can cook two-minute eggs in less than a minute. He also has been known to remodel subway stations on his lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat dispersion. He is an expert in glass bricklaying and an outlaw in Brazil. He breeds prize-winning clams.

Using only a hoe and a glass of water, he once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from an attack of ferocious army ants. He reads ancient Egyptian manuscripts in the original Sanskrit. He is an abstract sculptor, a master archer, and a ruthless bookie. He was scouted by the Mets and is the subject of numerous documentaries. On Wednesdays, after work, he repairs electrical appliances free of charge. He knows the exact location of every item in the supermarket. He bats 400.

He has been the ninth caller and has won the weekend passes. On Thursdays, to let off steam, he participates in full-contact origami. He owns many of Burt Bachrach's instrumental recordings and periodically annoys the neighbors by playing them at a high volume. He has performed open heart surgery, and he has spoken to Elvis.

But he has never owned a wine bar.

Steve Wecker
The Ideas Guy
Our "Ideas Guy," and father of five, Steve is an ardent Maryland Terrapins fan who has spent most of his life coming up with bright ideas. We're assuming that this is one of them. Steve loves the food service business because you always get lunch for free, and he enjoys meeting new and interesting people.

He loves writing, and has written everything from children's stories to murder mysteries, but as of yet has not figured out how to combine the two disciplines..."it was a dark and stormy peanut butter and jelly sandwich." Steve is fabled in song and story, first appearing in the old English story of "Beowulf"-he is mentioned just before the monster enters. He is also believed to have been the model for several of the pilgrims in Chauser's Canterburry Tales, and he was the inspiration for the great Russian novel War and Peace. Because of his exploits, men still buy him drinks wherever he appears, and his legend has grown to epic proportions.

He has fought for years against society's desire to build some type of monument to his feats, and desires a quiet life in New England, preferably on the rocky coast of Maine, instead of becoming the next emperor of France. He is modest to a fault and desires only those accolades for which he is truly worthy.

Friends and associates describe Steve as "different," in a weird sort of way, and he hopes to meet all of you and see if you feel the same.

He would appreciate if everyone would patronize the wine bar as he has five children to put through college.

Nate Hynson
The Bar Guy
Our, "Bar Guy," Nate has fallen into a time continuum in which he arrives to his entire life, ten minutes late. A University of Maryland graduate, he was given time off for reasonably good behavior though he has been cited for parole violations on an almost daily basis. Nate has hopes of someday achieving cult status utilizing his degree in Anthropology by forming a rock band using currently dead musicians who will come back to life just for the chance to play with Mr. Hynson. The Not so Grateful Dead will tour just long enough to record a Live/Dead album at which point Nate plans to kill his already dead band mates and spend his days watching Brady Bunch reruns while eating Cheeto's.

He hopes to someday own an armadillo farm and sausage ranch where he can spend the day herding Italian sausages and whistling Gene Autry tunes.

Vince Culotta
The Italian Wine Guy
Vince was raised by wolves until the age of eleven when the wolves got tired of his constant references to fruit forward Brunello's and left him on the doorstep of an Italian monastery. There he was educated in the way of the "Brothers of Saint Leroy, the Overly Verbose" until at 18 years of age he was given a loaf of bread, a piece of cheese and was sent on his spiritual quest.

His quest ended about three hundred yards away at an Italian winery where Vince recalls the next ten years being a blur of red wine and pasta. Later Vince did some work as a spy for the Latvians against the Armenians, though Vince could never keep the two straight creating a bloody civil war between the two countries when he reported identical information to both sides. After a short and somewhat ugly beach volleyball career, with the much-publicized "Speedo" incident, he retired from public life to a career in mushroom farming until someone told him what the brown stuff was.

He prefers cash to knowledge, and thinks life seldom resembles a bowl of cherries.

Norton
In Memoriam
Rob's maximum hound, and trusted sidekick, Norton provided insight and financial advice on a daily basis to The Iron Bridge Wine Company and several Wall Street investment firms. Rumored to be the mastermind behind the Warren Buffet silver scandal, the government was never able to find anything on Norton, other than fleas, and was unable to bring an indictment for insider trading. He built an impressive financial portfolio and is leveraged heavily into South American oil and Cocoa futures, A Renaissance dog; he enjoyed the poetry of Robert Frost, the writings and wit of Oscar Wilde, and the operas of Puccini. He traveled extensively throughout Europe and the Far East and spoke nine languages, including Pekingese. When not traveling or gambling in the casinos of Monte Carlo, Nort spent his days basking in the sun and counseling investors. He prefered French Bordeaux's to dish water, and found goose liver pate' a tastier alternative to Alpo.

Jackie Beal, Rian Wecker, and Katie Dewberry
The "Wee People" at the Iron Bridge, this trio of diminutive "Bread Jockeys" first gained national attention when they successfully stopped the practice of Hamster juggling in Bolivia by going on a three day Frozen Cappuccino strike that brought this inhumane practice to the attention of the International community and an emergency vote by the United Nations Security Council. The subject of numerous documentaries and the keepers of flatbread crackers for most of the free world, they have formed a small, semi-secret society that lists Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Ashton Kutcher as honorary members.

When not involved in the important tasks of tanning, devouring tater tots, shopping, or working towards World Peace, they can be found bussing, hostessing, waitressing, and checking their e-mail.

Marcie Prince
Goddess Of Wine
Born and raised in the heartland of America, this Des Moines, Iowa native learned at an early age that the world was indeed flat and that Columbus should have kept his big Italian mouth shut. As a teenager she won first prize at The Iowa State Fair in the Hog Calling competition where she called swine while sounding like Billie Holiday and dressing like Ethel Merman. After a brief stint touring with Benny Goodman and the Kilgore Rangerettes, she made a spiritual pilgrimage to Greece where she found her calling as the Goddess of Wine after she spent days fasting and praying at the foot of the Acropolis denying herself sustenance other than lamb kabobs and bottles of Ouzo. When the drugs and alcohol wore off, she took her rightful place with the other Greek Goddesses; Diana, Goddess of the Hunt; Morganna, Goddess of Love, and Myrtle, Goddess of Fatback and Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Her love of wine and linear equations is legendary and her ability to yodel while uncorking champagne has made her a cult figure in the former Soviet Republics. She believes that everyone should have a set of Allan wrenches and that if Friday came before Thursday there would less time spent on styling mousse.

She believes that there is a place for everything, and everything in it's place and that the word "chortle" is overused.

Jeanine Plezkoch
More Cowbell!!!
“Blondie” or “ J-9” as she is affectionately known, was born to immigrant musk ox herders who combed the Baltic Mountains searching for wild oxen and misplaced vowels. She was trapped as a young girl by an avalanche for six days and survived only by consuming cases of frozen Twinkies and listening to Beach Boy Albums for warmth. When she escaped with the help of the Swiss Ski Team and several hundred cowbells, she vowed to never go hungry again, for tomorrow is, another day.

She soon turned to the kindness of strangers and gained power and fortune when she created a small solar device that turned chicken livers into gold. Having sold the device to a band of Chilean terrorists, she embarked on a ten-year journey for spiritual enlightenment that ended at “Minnie’s Soul Shack” in Memphis and a large order of Chili cheese fries. After the grease and cheese wore off, J-9 joined the US Army’s Special Forces unit and became a covert operative where she spent time tanning in hostile countries all over the world.

She is convinced that the deer and the antelope don’t really play on the Range but merely appear to be having fun, and supports a woman’s right to choose shoes that make her taller, and likes to say the word “clapboard” when no one else is listening.

Chris Lewis
He's Not Too Short Anymore!
Chris Lewis Born and raised in nearby Carroll county, Chris joins the long line of distinguished Iron Bridge Carroll Countians; Rob Wecker, Rob Jeffery, Joe Kryuwicki, and Elmer Fudd. Chris displayed an early talent for the culinary arts when he appeared in kitchen stadium at age six losing battle “pabulum” to Bobby Flay only because he could not reach the pressure cooker. Undaunted, he traveled north to the confluence of the three rivers in Pittsburg where he learned the meaning of Bratwurst and a boilermaker. But the green fields of the Old Line State called him home.

After a brief stint with the CIA where he was assigned to infiltrate noodle smugglers in the Balkans, he decided to tour Europe as the lead singer for Genesis. He penned their Grammy Winning album “no jacket required” but felt that the pressure to become the world’s greatest human being was too much to ask and so he retired to the solitude of the Falkland Islands where he spent several years counting flightless sea birds.

A surprise call from the NBA found Chris returning to the United States where he won the Conn Smythe trophy as well as the Oscar for best supporting actress. He thanked all of the little people and returned to Lithuania to a hero’s welcome.

Chris like paramedics and hard cheese and hopes to someday be tall enough to overcome gravity. Until then he continues to work for World Peace and a grilled cheese sandwich.

Lee Marziale
Secretary of Pepperoni
Lee Marziale Born and raised in the “Land of Pleasant Living” Lee was tagged to star in the Italian movie version of “Talladega Nights”, called “Tallegio Nights”. In the remake, Lee would dream of someday “going fast” and dueling a French speaking chef as to who could pan sear a duck breast while driving a Ford Mustang at 185 miles an hour. Protests by the League of Women Voters and the International Commission on the Abuse of Armenian Electrical Workers caused Paramount Studios to pull the funding and sent Lee to a much needed vacation in Burma. Having regained his culinary confidence and several pair of clean underwear, he attended the prestigious Culinary Institute of America where he learned that minced garlic makes a better condiment than an after shave.

Lee comes from a large Italian family and cannot walk and chew gum without waving his hands about wildly and has trouble saying the word, ” Pancetta” without having visions of Giada de Laurentiis in a bikini and Mario Batali’s orange crocs. He served on the Presidents Commission on Pepperoni and swam the English Channel to prove that a small team of well trained Navy Seals could indeed invade England and save the Queen from English cooking.

Lee hopes that someday he can open a Pizza delivery service with drivers equipped with 500 horsepower engines and chin spoilers. Until then he thinks that Harry Potter can kick Chuck Norris butt and that if you put enough Parmigianino Reggiano cheese on a shoe, you can make it taste better.

Bob Grouge
Heir To The Throne of England
Bob Grouge - Born and bred in the old dominion state, Bob is actually heir to the throne of England, and if everyone over twenty one years of age in the western hemisphere expires, he will be third in line for the crown. As a young boy, Bob was interested in the supernatural and spent a summer speaking to Elvis about the lifespan of lemmings and bananas. Bob began a career in organic farming till someone explained what all of the brown smelly stuff was. After a quick shower he threw out the first pitch at Yankee stadium and became the principle conductor for the New York Philharmonic. His avant garde symphonies were at first regarded as brilliant until it was later discovered that he neither read music, nor could spell Philharmonic. Destitute and penniless, he returned to a hero’s welcome in Sweden where he was appointed the head of the Labor Party and towel boy for the Swedish Bikini team.

Bob loves cars and motor oil and going fast, and thinks that Marjoram is a totally misunderstood spice. His refusal to eat unblanched almonds during the fifth inning of Red Sox playoff games was interpreted by some as a protest against the treatment of the Arapahoe Indians. The US government called out the National Guard, and violence was averted only when several large pizzas were delivered and South Dakota was given back to Spain. Following this historic moment, Bob ordered a large order of Thrashers fries and freed the Lithuanian boat people from further taxes.

He thinks that Mick Jagger actually does get satisfaction, and believes that the word “dismember” can have positive connotations.

Dan Frack
Born to Lithuanian Polka Dancers in Bath, Pennsylvania, Dan “the mighty though not particularly bright” became a child actor appearing in several long running shows such as “ Ernie gets a Wedgie”, “The Peanut Butter Chronicles”, and the tragic mini series “ My side of the Microwave”. His ability to play numerous character actor roles landed him a spot on the original pilot of “America’s Got Talent” until it was discovered that America might, but he didn’t. Heartbroken, Dan attended Wallenpaupack High School; home of the “Fighting Wombats”, where he placed third in the nation in Rhythmic Gymnastics, failing to capture the silver medal only because his baton snapped and his sequins fell off.

His love of the arts, and his choice of Bolivian as a second language led him to the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park where he majored in sausage stuffing with a minor in Latin. He was given a dishonorable discharge when he organized a protest of the inhumane treatment of Oysters, which he had funded by the Rockefeller Center.

He continued to seek spiritual fulfillment, and lived in a remote cabin in the Adirondacks, neither shaving nor bathing for three years. He came out of seclusion when New York threatened to secede from the union and was given a hero’s welcome and some dental floss.

Dan believes that the accordion should never be used as a weapon, that drinking and driving could be musically beneficial, and that Katie Couric can kick Chuck Norris’s butt. He encourages his fans to avoid using steroids unless they are willing to share with neighborhood children and thinks the word “ elliptical” has hidden meanings.

Woody Issac
Woody or the “Woodman” as he is known to the population of Indochina, was actually named for a character in Frank Baum’s original attempt to write “The Wizard of Oz” where Dorothy doesn’t leave Kansas to go to a mythical land of Oz inhabited by Munchkins and flying monkeys, but travels to North Dakota where she gets the help of oversized prairie dogs and three guys named Merle who help her find hallucinogenic mushrooms. Woody was named after the lead prairie dog and later sought psychological counseling whenever he was served French toast for breakfast.

After a quiet childhood in Wichita, Kansas, he escaped the drudgery of the vast plains and buffalo dung by moving to Germany where he discovered beer halls and sauerbraten. Unable to discover the meaning of life, or a great $4.00 cheeseburger, he joined the French Foreign Legion and spent ten years roaming the desserts of North Africa drinking bad Bordeaux’s and suffering from an unexplainable rash. After ten years the discovery that he spoke no French led to the realization that he was in fact the rightful heir to the throne of Burundi and he was given the keys to the city and a ham and cheese sandwich, and the villagers rejoiced. He settled in the beautiful Horse Country of Virginia, where he taught creative writing to the criminally insane, but was given a lifetime pardon for reasonably good behavior and his ability to say “inoculate” without laughing.

Woody attributes his success as an author to ”using the correct letters to spell words” and thinks that if man were meant to fly, he would be born with his tray back in an upright position. He asks that in lieu of cash, a donation be made in his name to the Flat earth Society.

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